The No-Good, Horrible, Very Bad Morning...

I want you to imagine the worst possible thing you would want to have hovering over your precious, sleeping infant.

Africanized Bees, perhaps? Please...read on.

Yesterday was Ella's blessing. We had everyone over for brunch at our house after sacrament meeting, and everything went great. Well, after everyone went home, I noticed a couple of bees flying around in our bedroom. So, naturally, I completely freaked out, and made David kill them.

Great. No more bees, right? Wrong.

This morning, just as David was leaving for work, I was getting ready to get in the shower. I heard a familiar buzzing, and my stomach dropped. I saw a bee just above the window in our bathroom. I scrambled to catch David before he left for work, and made him kill the bee. We both thought it was just a straggler from the day before. So, with Ava watching Sesame Street in the living room, and Ella asleep on our bed, David left for work, and I proceeded to get in the shower.

(Cue the scary music....the Jaws theme perhaps?)

So, I turn off the shower, and what do I immediately hear?

BuuuuuZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZz.....

My heart stops.

I slowly step out of the shower, and there are BEES EVERYWHERE. But mind you, I don't have my contacts in, so all I can see are little block spots all over the place. I am scrambling for my glasses like a crazy person, and all the while, the incessant buzzing is growing louder.

So, I race to the telephone and call an exterminator. My conversation goes something like this:

Exterminator: "Good morning, AAA Exterminators. How can I help you?"
Me: "You have to get here right NOW there are bees in my house and I have a baby and a toddler and I think there is a hive somewhere in my bedroom and they are flying all around me and I don't know if they are aggressive, but did I mention I have a 2 year old and a BABY sleeping right here and I need someone here right away because my husband just left for work and I don't really care what I have to pay, but someone needs to get here NOW..."
Exterminator: "Umm, ma'am, can I get your name, please?"
Me: "My name is Kim, and I need someone here right now because I have a toddler and a baby."

You get the idea...

So, after I get off the phone, I realize that I must army crawl back through my bathroom for one very important reason. Well, two important reasons. First and foremost, I must rescue Baby Ella from the bees swarming overhead. And second, remember how I had just stepped out of the shower? Well, I was still naked. And blind. I had to put some clothes on before the exterminator got there, and find my stinkin' glasses. So I proceed to army crawl - while squinting like crazy - on my bathroom floor to my closet. I throw on the first items of clothing I lay my hands on. Then, I slowly crawl towards the bed to rescue my sweet sleeping baby...and retrieve my glasses. We make it out of the bedroom, slam the door, and I proceed to line the bottom of the doorway with several large towels.

Phew.

The exterminator came and saved the day. 500 bucks later, and we are officially bee-free.

However, while I was looking over the invoice after he had left, the following boxes were checked under the "Scope of Work" section:

Africanized Bee Colony? Check
Newly Arrived? Check
Aggressive? Check

EXCUSE ME??? Aggressive Africanized BEES? In my freakin' HOUSE?



Sheesh.

So....how was your morning?